ShortTax Form

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America is the land of opportunity.  Everyone can become a taxpayer.

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A fool and his money are soon parted.
The rest of us wait until income tax time.

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The latest income-tax form has been greatly simplified. It consists of only three parts:
1.  How much did you make last year?
2.  How much do you have left?
3.  Send amount listed in part 2.

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The average man now lives thirty-one years longer than he did in 1850.
He has to in order to get his taxes paid.

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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

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    A man walks into a store followed by his ten-year-old son.  His son is spinning a quarter in the air and catching it between his teeth.  While walking through the store someone bumps into the boy and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his throat.  He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face.  His dad starts panicking and shouts and screams for help.
    A middle-aged, fairly unnoticeable man in a gray suit is sitting at the snack bar in the store reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.  At the sound of the commotion, he looks up, puts his coffee down, neatly folds his newspaper and places it on the counter. He gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way towards the boy.   When he reaches the boy, the man carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles and squeezes, gently but firmly.
    After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the man catches in his free hand.  Releasing the boy, the man hands the coin to the father and walks back to his seat at the snack bar without saying a word.
    As soon as the dad makes sure that his son is OK, he rushes over to the man and starts  thanking him saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before.  It was fantastic! Are you a doctor?"
    "Oh, good Heavens, no," the man replies, "I work for the Internal Revenue Service."

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What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a financial problem you didn't know you had
in a way you don't understand.

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A lot of people still have the first dollar they ever made.
Uncle Sam has all the others.